Four

Tucking in four children takes a lot

They all need different attention, 

dìfferent kinds of listening,

different comforts

Four different moods,

four different essences to absorb and understand

to breath back out what they need to breath in

Four different souls to sooth and quiet

down towards sleep

Each one feels so different to cuddle

Four different types of love

Bath Day

On Saturdays I give the children their good bath.  

The one where I clean out their ears.

Afterward I hold each pink, soft little hand and trim their nails.  

I brush their hair to lie smoothly on their heads

(it will be every which way when they wake up).

Their faces are sparkly with splash induced smiles.

Their eyes are happy.

I put my arms around their little bodies.

Bodies that are becoming lanky, gangley arms and legs trying to fold up onto my lap.

Little E's still do.

Big E's spread out to dangle all around me.  

During the week I have to gather up the scraps of energy left at the end of the day, often I choose stories instead of baths when there's not enough for both.

All that hurrying and noise at the end of the day.

Saturday graces us with time.

When the week is over I look forward to working the lather through their hair.

Their  peaceful upturned faces as I slowly pour water over their backs. 

All week I make them do everything they can do for themselves.

They do lots of jobs for the family.

They do lots to help me.

This time I do for them.

It is a gift.

It feels like love.

When they are all tucked in 

with as many hugs as they want, as much time as they need,

After soft cheeks and kisses have been pressed into palms, to keep there till morning,

I feel so happy. 

So lucky that I have them.

That they are mine to wash and trim and brush.

To care for someone in such a way, meet their most basic needs

I feel is an honor.

A trust.

I will keep it.

And know that it is good. 

Sleeping in the Dirt

Trying to end the Sneak Out of Bed game before it starts and make lying in bed seem more enticing and fun I tell Little e some things.  Not everyone gets to lie in a soft cozy bed with blankets and a fluffy pillow.  Some kids have to lie on the fl- (I better reword, he looves to sleep on the floor, he's been napping there all week) some kids don't get to lie on a bed at all.  They have to lie on the dirt on a piece of cardboard and they don't have their special blue blankie.  You are so lucky to have this cozy bed!

His response, "I want to sweep in the dirt."  

That kid is so adorable!  I can see the appeal, dirt is soft too and you can do so many neat things with it.  

I've been re-falling in love with him.  Ever since I started being more firm and in charge with him his sweet little self shows so much more and our love is blossoming.  (sounds lame I know but it's the only way to describe it).  We are closer, he is more obedient, helpful and affectionate. It only took a couple of weeks of concentrated effort to dramatically change the dynamic between us.  It is so encouraging, patience and love and the right kind of authority ended his defiance and replaced with willingness and trust. He wraps his little arms around my legs and tells me he, "loves me sooo much!" several times a day.  I am more patient and calm, which changes everything.  I have a better sense of humor and am more understanding, less demanding.  We play and have fun together.  

We like each other.