You're gonna miss this
I know what they mean
Yes you'll miss their chubby cheeks and wispy curls and heavy bodies nestled into you
But you know what it really is?
The thing they're really missing
is being liked and adored and wanted so much
I have spent 13 years being loved and needed
That long time of being steeped and drenched in love
Even when I wanted to be free, even when I was exhausted or intellectually starved I was marinated in love
And now I'm not
Yes they still love me but they are growing relationships with others, they are becoming resourceful on their own
The need for me and interest in me is making room for their evolving which is wonderful and joyful in another way
It's not wrong of my husband that he doesn't love me and need me and want me and like me every second like four babies do
He loves me like a normal grown up with personal space and time apart and differences of opinion
This occurs to me and I realise this is what a normal adult life is like
Just being yourself, doing your thing, not receiving a constant stream of toddler love oxytocin as I have been
This is what the people mean when they say
You're gonna miss this
And I have to get used to it
this price of freedom
