Saturday, July 23, 2016

Love It While I'm In It

Oh today
Today was one of those days.
A day where you got to shower and wash your hair with out feeling like you were swimming upstream to do it. 
A a day in which you got to eat breakfast peacefully.
A calm feeling day. 
Today was a day to skype with your traveling sister and feel happy with all four kids crowding your body. 
It was a day to go to play in the water without gathering a million supplies, just a couple of  towels and a handful of granola bars and off we go!
Today was a day to love my children
for my heart to drink them all in and love how they are in this moment
For my boy to be big enough to stay home by himself and me to be happy for him.
A day for my heart to swell as one helped the other climb up the tall side of something at the park.  
Their muscly little bodies mirroring each other,
 one reaching up and one reaching down
hands clasped as they pulled each other up.
A day to sit with my baby in the leaf dappled sunshine as he smiled and kicked completely happy to do just what he always wants, 
to be by me 
be with me
and for me to be with him. 
A day to listen and marvel at the interesting things they say, 
to glimpse how they think, what they imagine.
To glow with each new word practiced and learned.
Today was a day to drive through the fields and watch the haying, harvesting
see the horses and cows with their babies.
to paint all the colors of the grass in my mind.
A day to love as I do every time that I see it, the big sky with it's sun and storms and towers of clouds all happening at once, a different view in every direction.
Today was a day in which, when I lay down with the two smalls for a story and watched them with their heads on the same pillow and they asked me
why are you crying
I could say that my heart was so full of love that it burst
and the extra spilled out of my eyes.
Today was a day that was good.

(Then he said, " Well, pft, why are you sad about loving us???" I explained that they were happy tears but like, clearly, Mom that doesn't make any sense.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

A Farewell

Goodbye pregnancy. 
We had some good times together.
 Sometimes you were hard but mostly I enjoyed you.
 I liked your appetite.
 I liked your curves.
 I liked the way you made me feel special. 
 Thank you for the children that you gave me. 
Thank you for the sisterhood.
 Thank you even for the times you didn't wok out.
. Thank you for deepening me.
I will always remember you.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Our Game

All day long you love me and love me.
You call me 'my sweet sweet' and 'my sweet Mommy'
You slip your arms around my leg or back or neck,
whichever you can reach.
You snuggle your head into me and rock or wriggle.
You lift your face up to mine
perfect small child skin, rosy cheeks, pink shaped lips, your hair swooping back. 
You hug me and compliment me, tell me I'm beautiful.
Out of the blue over and over again.
We play a game, because there is more than being beautiful.
I tell you you are beautiful. 
You are smart, loving, kind.
You are creative, you are strong, you are generous.
You are capable, helpful and brave.
You tell me I am all those things too.
You are goofy
You are fun
You are interesting.
All day long you love me and love me.
How blessed I am in love.