My Birthday Boy

My very special little boy is now four.  Not in any way a baby any more. I miss that little baby so much.  I was so proud of him for just existing.  He was so amazing and smart.  He was so much better than the other babies (I'm sure yours was too).  I pretty much thought he was a grown up by the time he was six weeks.  Looking back at pictures of his sweet little toddler self I feel a little sad, a deep sadness and a longing to have him little like that again.  So I can savor it.  Just hold him gently and look and look and drink him in.  Stroke his chubby cheeks and smooth his soft hair.  Let him be a tiny person and not expect him to be a big one.

It's not too late though.  I can still to that with him now.  I can let him be four and not expect him to be six (or eight).  I can enjoy his four year old quirks.  I can explore things he is interested in with him.  I can not be rushing him to the next stage.  I am excited for where we are now.  It is really enjoyable to talk with him, listen to his ideas.  It feels so good to see his brown eyes wide with wonder at new discoveries.  He asks questions about everything, loving to understand the world.  I'm glad I realized this in time.  In time to enjoy the rest of his childhood.  Then when I look back I will feel such satisfaction knowing that I am enjoying it while I am in it.  And I will only feel love and peace remembering my four old boy and the way we savored being four together.

There are great things to come for him.

My special little boy. 

A Busy Day

My day was very busy but I loved it.  I just canceled the cable (we had the really amazing deal for 6 months promotion.)  Even though I really really miss it I think it's one of the top five best things I could do for our family.  I've started making lists again, and getting so many things done!  Here's my list for today.

To do today: 


Play school-check 


clean my room-check


vaccume and dust said room-check


wash bedding and remake bed-check


lots of dishes-check (but there's still lots, oh how I dream of the day when we have a dishwasher)


make fancy bread for book club-check


stew for supper-check


tomorrow's supper in slow cooker-check


bathe kids while cleaning bathroom-check


book club-double check


prepare veggies for tomorrow-I decided my company can help me with it when we get home tomorrow evening more time to visit that way


lay out kids clothes-they're not so much layed out as in the dryer but they are clean and I know where they are. 


Not bad hey?  It's like my mind is free again.  I can think and plan, make lists, have ideas. It's wonderful!


Also, need a cure for the winter blues?  Get a couple of friends, a book you'd like to read and some yummy book related food and you've got yourselves a party!  Stay out late enough and you'll be telling all your best non book related stories and laughing the ugly laugh (you know the one where your face goes all funny shaped, you can't see and you're wheezing and crying, yes that one (it's so Healthy!))


Watch for our next book choice and read along with us.

Ice Cream Iceberg

Do you like root beer floats?  They're pretty much an A&W classic right?  Well I had one last night.  I guess I haven't had one for a while (like 20 years) cause they're a little different now. 

Reaching for my frosty glass in anticipation I paused in confusion.  Firstly the glass wasn't frosty.  But that was just a side note.  There in the top of my cup listing to one side was a strange white hockey puck.  No lovely big scoop bobbing in the mug, just this funny white disk.  It looked like those puck paints from elementary school.  Remember how the white was never white, it was more of a grayish brown?  Well there it was floating on my root beer.  A nice hard compact little disk of ice cream (we'll call it that anyway) perfectly manufactured to just fit into the mug.  For real!  It was millimeters smaller than the diameter of the mug.

I guess it makes sense, fast food is all about efficiency and premade products. For example Tim Horton's hasn't actually made their donuts fresh in the store in years (trust me, I worked there once).  

Once I got over the initial shock we gamely drilled a hole through the middle with our straws and made the most of it.  It was actually pretty fun, I found myself imagining I was excavating icebergs in the ocean.  Also they come with these angled spoons that are great for scraping off the frozen pop.  (Really there's a surprising amount of engineering that went into that simple little float.) 

A few minutes later I was shaking with laughter and clasping my hands over my mouth to prevent someone from getting a cold sticky shower. Despite the unexpected shape of the ice cream it still made a tasty treat and it provided some great comedic material for our entertainment as well. 

So if you haven't been to A&W for a while, I'm just saying, the ice cream comes in pucks. 

What it didn't look like.

Sleeping in the Dirt

Trying to end the Sneak Out of Bed game before it starts and make lying in bed seem more enticing and fun I tell Little e some things.  Not everyone gets to lie in a soft cozy bed with blankets and a fluffy pillow.  Some kids have to lie on the fl- (I better reword, he looves to sleep on the floor, he's been napping there all week) some kids don't get to lie on a bed at all.  They have to lie on the dirt on a piece of cardboard and they don't have their special blue blankie.  You are so lucky to have this cozy bed!

His response, "I want to sweep in the dirt."  

That kid is so adorable!  I can see the appeal, dirt is soft too and you can do so many neat things with it.  

I've been re-falling in love with him.  Ever since I started being more firm and in charge with him his sweet little self shows so much more and our love is blossoming.  (sounds lame I know but it's the only way to describe it).  We are closer, he is more obedient, helpful and affectionate. It only took a couple of weeks of concentrated effort to dramatically change the dynamic between us.  It is so encouraging, patience and love and the right kind of authority ended his defiance and replaced with willingness and trust. He wraps his little arms around my legs and tells me he, "loves me sooo much!" several times a day.  I am more patient and calm, which changes everything.  I have a better sense of humor and am more understanding, less demanding.  We play and have fun together.  

We like each other.