Tuesday, November 30, 2010

My Birthday Boy

My very special little boy is now four.  Not in any way a baby any more. I miss that little baby so much.  I was so proud of him for just existing.  He was so amazing and smart.  He was so much better than the other babies (I'm sure yours was too).  I pretty much thought he was a grown up by the time he was six weeks.  Looking back at pictures of his sweet little toddler self I feel a little sad, a deep sadness and a longing to have him little like that again.  So I can savor it.  Just hold him gently and look and look and drink him in.  Stroke his chubby cheeks and smooth his soft hair.  Let him be a tiny person and not expect him to be a big one.

It's not too late though.  I can still to that with him now.  I can let him be four and not expect him to be six (or eight).  I can enjoy his four year old quirks.  I can explore things he is interested in with him.  I can not be rushing him to the next stage.  I am excited for where we are now.  It is really enjoyable to talk with him, listen to his ideas.  It feels so good to see his brown eyes wide with wonder at new discoveries.  He asks questions about everything, loving to understand the world.  I'm glad I realized this in time.  In time to enjoy the rest of his childhood.  Then when I look back I will feel such satisfaction knowing that I am enjoying it while I am in it.  And I will only feel love and peace remembering my four old boy and the way we savored being four together.

There are great things to come for him.
My special little boy. 


  1. Oh Heather I feel the same way about Avery (5yrs) who goes to school and even about baby Shelby (4 months) because already she isn't my newborn anymore... but having children isn't about having babies, it's getting to raise them forever! And I need to enjoy all ages and stages!

  2. I don't wish that "Montana" could be younger again, really. I really soaked it up. The girls are harder. The more you have, the harder it is to really soak up that time.

    And yes, I was so proud of him just for existing, too. Well put. And he was so brilliant, even the nurses could tell after he was born. And they were right.

    Your boy sounds very, very smart.

  3. I have recently had the very same thoughts... and to take a step back from the push of day to day and enjoy the perfect moments that happen all day long. Thanks for sharing!